Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Deluded? Living in LaLaLand? Try Conservo-Copy Editing!

Don't you just hate it when some punk Liberal comes along and tells you what you know to be real is bullshit? What's worse those silly fact checking sites like snopes and factcheck.org don't actually say what they should be saying.

Well try Conservo-copy editing and you can make those supposedly reality based fact checking sites say whatever you need them to!

Here's how it works. Say you're debating some punk ass Liberal about the causes of the economic mess. Now you and I both know as Conservatives, it's all ACORN's fault. Obviously factcheck.org, being a scrupulous fact checking site should say that. This couldn't possibly be untrue: "That's SO funny, because Factcheck--along with, like, the whole of the internet--states that ACORN bullied, threatened harassment lawsuits, and held protests to smear bank reputations to force them into the risky loans of the sort at the heart of our current financial crisis-"

But we got this punk ass liberal who says something to effect of: "It's funny you say factcheck.org backs up your claim that ACORN bullied lenders into writing bad loans, when in fact factcheck.org says nothing of the kind."

Now is the time to employ Conservo-copy editing to make that link say what you need it to say. So lets look at the portion of text we need to Conservo-copy edit:

The McCain ad says that ACORN in Chicago engaged in "bullying banks. Intimidation tactics. Disruption of business" and "forced banks to issue risky home loans." In support of these statements, the McCain campaign cites conservative opinion pieces, including a column by Mona Charen posted by the National Review Online, titled "Guilty Party: ACORN, Obama and the Mortgage Mess."

It is true that ACORN has led demonstrations on a number of issues nationwide – predatory lending, immigration reform, neighborhood violence, utilities shut-offs, minimum wage increases. Sometimes the group's tactics are confrontational, veering into civil disobedience. For instance, in the late 1980s, ACORN activists in a number of cities, including Chicago, seized abandoned houses and encouraged "squatting" by homeless people, in an attempt to force local governments to salvage abandoned properties and convert them into low-income housing. The targets of ACORN's protests sometimes describe the activists as intractable or even aggressive. Other ACORN protests are less confrontational; Sen. McCain himself spoke at an ACORN rally on illegal immigration in 2006.

It stretches the facts, however, to say that ACORN "forced" banks to make risky loans, though it has certainly applied pressure on banks to make loans to minority and low-income borrowers. ACORN also has worked directly with banks in a joint effort to increase such lending. In Chicago these efforts date back at least to 1992, after a report by the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston showed that minorities in that city were two to three times as likely to be denied mortgage loans as white applicants, and that high-income minorities were more likely to be turned down than low-income whites. Chicago ACORN then started a mortgage assistance program, in cooperation with five local banks, to help minority and low-income borrowers get mortgage loans.

The mortgages that ACORN worked out with the banks did have lower underwriting standards than were customary. They allowed a higher percentage of a family's income to go to debt repayment, and counted rent and utility payments, not just credit card payments, as evidence of ability to pay back a loan. The loans were also more forgiving of past credit problems, as long as the recipient was making a proven effort to address them. But ACORN provided loan deals only to people who went through counseling on budget and credit issues. In 1992, First Nationwide Bank Vice President Neal Halleran told the Chicago Tribune: "Transaction by transaction, [loans from the ACORN program] would appear to be performing no worse than our portfolio overall." According to the Tribune, First Nationwide had contacted ACORN to initiate the lending program.

Factcheck.org: ACORN accusations

Well there is some good stuff in there if you're a Conservo-copy editor. First of all we got to remember, the original author chose the order of points for a reason. Conservo-copy editing magically disregards this. Watch how it works. Take the second clause from the 1st sentence in the third paragraph. Never mind the first clause of that sentence directly contradicts what was claimed. So now we got ACORN pressuring banks, but we still got to add the bullying part in there so lets take the first clause from the second sentence and the whole fourth sentence in the second paragrah while capslock screaming "AGGRESSIVE."

Thus we get:
"[ACORN] has certainly applied pressure on banks to make loans to minority and low-income borrowers. ... Sometimes the group's tactics are confrontational ... The targets of ACORN's protests sometimes describe the activists as intractable or even AGGRESSIVE"
After we applied Conservo-copy editing we get a factcheck.org citation you would be proud to have your mother post on the kitchen fridge.

Mr Bold

In or around busting the liar who wrote this post:

cross posted ad nauseum on St. Louis' politics board.



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